Christmas spirit in Milan

This year I will spend Christmas back home in Africa. But even if I won't be in Milan, I feel like I have already had my share of Christmas here. The lights, the sales, the music, the Christmas markets, the crowds, weeks before the 25th is all so exciting. The Christmas celebrations in Italy go on days before and after Christmas day.

The whole craze about Father Christmas (Babbo Natale) is not so popular here as in other parts of the world like America. The kids do expect gifts from parents and relatives though. A lot of gift exchanging goes on for the adults too, hence the crowds in the stores and impenetrable streets. I already got mine :-)

The Duomo

 In Italy just like in my country, Christmas (Natale) is the time for families to come together after long separations through the year to spend a special time over great food and drinks. 

According to tradition, the Christmas eve meal does not have any meat so it's about fish and vegetables. All types of fish you can think of; baccala (salted dried cod fish), octopus, shellfish, mussels, calamari.

Then the day long Christmas lunch menu usually consists of pasta, braised veal, anchovies, lasagna, oh the list is endless. Did I mention the dinning goes on the whole day?

I love the traditional sweet cakes served during the holidays. The 'panettone', made in the region of Lombardy, contains raisins and candied fruits. The 'pandoro', made in Verona is soft dough sprinkled with sugar.

The Pandoro and Panettone

I will miss the many invitations to meals throughout the season and Christmas day spent eating numerous courses of Italian traditional delicacies, chatting away over fine wine. Who wouldn't miss that??

Off to my other family in Uganda, where the traditions are actually not so far apart. Feasting, chatting, laughing the festive days away. It's the time for the annual get-together gatherings so there's lot to catch up on.

Buon Natale!
Happy holidays!

LT

No man is an island

Whenever someone closed themselves off from others, my mom always said 'no man is an island'. It did not mean so much to me back then but the older I get, the more sense it makes.

Time and time again we have all felt the need to cut people out of our lives. Friends who have not been so loyal, annoying family members, irritating neighbors and whoever else rubs us the wrong way. You have thought to yourself, if I eliminate this person from my life completely, I will be free from some irritations. Which could probably be true. But then you would have to cut off almost, if not everyone, you know. At some point, everyone in your life has failed you, irritated you, disappointed you, at least the people who are a little close to you.

If everyone thinks in this way, we will all be booted out of someone's life everyday for the irritating things we have done to them and are bound to do again. Then what? Everyone lives isolated from everyone else? If only that was practically possible.

Everybody needs somebody at some point in their lives. Even that one person you never imagined you could ever need. Some people are better being on their own than others. Some actually prefer it. But does that mean they never need anyone, no. Some people are loners, but one thing for sure is no man can thrive well on their own, in isolation and with no connection to others. It could be someone to laugh with, someone to cry with, someone to argue with, name it.

Truth is, sometimes we are better off without some people in our lives. People who pull you down, demoralize you or bring out the worst in you. People you would rather love or hate at a distance. People you know are not good for you and will never be. You are able to tell who these people are after a while of interaction with them in different situations.

"People talk. People lie. People cheat. People change their ways. People do stupid things. People walk out of your life. People hurt you. People make you. People break you. People heal you. People save you. Life happens and there is absolutely nothing you can do about any of it."



So I have learnt to accept the form in which some people are present in my life. Even that very irritating, annoying, disappointing part in which they may come. The days I have badly felt like totally deleting a person from my life, I have distanced myself from them or given them a time out.
Of course there are those I have inevitably kept in my heart but out of my life. You can tell when it's really not worth it and you have to cut ties.


But as John Donne put it, 'no man is an island'. Unless you are sure you need NOBODY ever, think twice before you continuously cut people out of your life. You will soon ran out of people to delete because cliche as this sounds, nobody is perfect. Not even you.
And no man is self sufficient, how ever rich, intelligent, beautiful they may be.
We all need somebody.

LT

Is age really just a number??

My 73 year old mother in law enrolled for a course some weeks ago at a university. She's not those 'overly educated' people who are obsessed with studying if that's what you're thinking. An ordinary, self employed housewife for years who felt studying something new could do her good, so she went ahead and applied for this course.

I know many of you are wondering why a 73 year old who is not looking to develop her career or to be employed is going back to study. And honestly, I thought the same at first, even if I was really impressed by it.

So I thought; Do we let age have more impact on how we run our lives than it should?? Do we let it be the key determinant in the decisions we make and the paths our lives take??

Well, theoretically, age is not really just a number. It is wrinkles, experience, wisdom, wealth, maturity, among other things that come with being around the world longer. But we do know MANY of these are also a choice. Say maturity (we all know that one person who refuses to grow up. PS; not judging).

Just like all other theories, there are a million exceptions to this one too. The  50 year old that has less wrinkles and a firmer body than that fresh 20 year old (or was that pushing it too far? But you do get the point i'm sure). Wiser younger people. Younger people that have had experiences that double or triple their ages. Retired people who have not been able to accumulate as much wealth as a person in their 20s and the list continues.

Age is just a number depending on your attitude and state of mind. How important it is for you to do things within the norm. How thick your skin is to take the judgement and not so silent whispers that come with doing things out of the ordinary (which is relative by the way) or things out of the cultural expectations.

For time immemorial, age  has determined when it is 'ideal' to have or not have kids, who we should or should date, what we can or cannot wear, when it's too late or too early to pursue certain dreams, who we associate with and so on.

Our problem is that we are so afraid of what people are going to think of the decisions we make at a certain age. We are so afraid of the stigma attached to doing things at any given age. So we forego our happiness just to fit in, to be 'normal'.

Now I am not going to sit here and pretend age totally doesn't matter. That would be hypocritical. It's true, you will naturally feel odd about certain things because of your age. In some situations age won't be just a number even if you keep singing it to yourself. There are limits that may be a little too much to be exceeded. But then again, who sets the bench mark to these limits??

I believe that we need to be more in control of the choices we makes, depending our circumstances than minding those numbers on our birth certificates. It saves you a lot of headache trying to fit things into a particular age bracket plus you miss out on opportunities and joys because your age said you could not do something.

Wear that sexy skirt if it makes you feel good even if some people may think you are too old for it. Have your first baby at 18 or 45 if that's when you feel ready for it. Hit the club at 70 if it still lifts your spirits. Date that person who is 20 years your senior or junior if you feel good with them and you are compatible but be sure to be given the side eye every now and then when you do these things. Or to be the topic of a conversation somewhere. But even people doing the 'normal' stuff are gossiped about and get the side eyes too right?

Dare to break the 'rules'. Do what you want, most importantly what is going to make you happy in the long run. We are tailored differently and our life situations are different. Do what suits you as long as it's not offensive of course, some little common sense is required, haha.



What's you take on this? When you throw around that phrase 'age is just a number'. Is it because you badly want to believe it or you actually agree with it??

LT