My baby turns ONE

On this day at exactly 3am, my water broke at 38+5 weeks. My husband had insisted we watch a movie before going bed but I only went through 30 minutes and dosed off. I was too tired and had planned to prepare a meal for some friends the following day, which was Easter. Little did I know my Easter bundle was coming that very day.We panicked for a moment there as we prepared to leave for the hospital. My hubby following me around the house with a rug to clean up the water that kept dripping. Yes, he has mild OCD. I had played out this moment in my head so many times but had imagined a more dramatic scenario. Something like my water breaking at the cinema, on the train or at the supermarket. Rushing me to hospital in an ambulance while I scream my lungs out, you know, like we see in the movies.


At the hospital, all seemed under control until they put me on drips to the help with the dilation. Then, the pain from the contractions got into full gear. I could barely remember all the tips I got from my antenatal classes except taking long breaths in and out. My husband looked so helpless, seeing me in all this pain and there is nothing he could do about it. He was the only family I had there with me at that time. On the other hand, my family which lives all over the world was calling my phone and his off the hook for updates.
After some hours I had to go into theater for an emergency C-section. In the theater, I got into panic for some minutes. I couldn't stop crying, thinking of all the horrible things that could happen. Thank God for the wonderful doctors who saw me through this moment.

Before long, I heard my baby cry for the first time. Tears rolled down my eyes. What I felt that time is still so fresh in my mind, the feeling of bringing life into this world. Only a mother can understand what I am talking about.
My son had a really light skin tone for a mixed baby. When they took him to my husband, he asked if they were sure he was ours, haha. He looked like a white baby. Being the only newborn at the hospital that afternoon, there was definitely no mix up, the nurses confirmed. I couldn't stop staring at him, the feeling of being a mother had not registered in my mind yet, it was so surreal.


Pregnancy and birth were an overwhelming experience for me. I had this picture of a fun, 'glowy' pregnancy, looking cute and chic with my bump. It did not go like that at all. I was big, skin broke out, pregnancy was definitely not beautiful in my case like I hear people say. Then there was the morning sickness for the first months, mood swings to add on my already existing ones. It was in that moment I knew more than ever that I married the man of my dreams. He supported me through it all so selflessly sometimes I don't know how he did it. I never lifted a finger to do anything throughout the 9 months.


On the bright side, the first months were not as overwhelming as I expected or as I had been warned. It was just me and my husband and we handled it just fine. Of course there were those days when he wouldn't stop crying and I broke down and cried too. Not forgetting the times I could barely keep my eyes open but had to nurse him or get him to sleep but generally speaking, it has been awesome. Things naturally fall in place, questions somehow get answered and the endless worries come and go too.

Twelve months later, I look at my son, what he was grown into and I fall in love over and over again. You need to see the excitement that filled our home the first day we saw a tooth or the time he sat, crawled, ate solids, walked. We look forward to every little milestone he knocks down.
I can't deny that there are days I want someone to take him away for some hours so I can go about some activities in silence or just have a breather. Days I want to spend time with some adult friends and have a real conversation. But MOST of the days, I just want to sniff him, stare at him while he sleeps, watch him play with his toys, have him cling onto my legs and make all these silly baby sounds that suddenly become so exciting when you're a mother.

He makes our world different. I hope to teach him to grow into a respectful, humble, hardworking, intelligent man. This boy is surely special and I am not being biased :-). Raising my glass of wine to motherhood. Cheers!

LT

6 common stereotypes I refuse to agree with

Stereotypes arise from repetitiveness of certain things which people come to believe to be true. So they are not entirely baseless. That being said, there are stereotypical beliefs I have refused to agree with no matter how commonly they are believed. Also because I think they corrupt the mind and the way people would rather live their lives. Here they are:

#1. All men cheat. Whoever came up with that must have been a scorned woman who continuously made some really bad choices. I know how naive that may sound to many women.

 Truth; Men generally have a high sex drive compared to women which is one of the main causes of cheating. This does not mean there isn't still a big number that will not cheat on their partners for sex or any other reason. Too bad for the ladies who have given their men a pass to cheat because 'all men are dogs'.  

#2. Every woman wants to be a mother. Females are naturally expected to desire to become mothers at some point in their lives. All women are expected to have a motherly instinct somewhere in their DNA.  

Truth; There are many women out there who don't feel like motherhood is for them. They do not hate kids, maybe they would even make better mothers than some actual mothers. They simply do not want it or long for it as most people believe all women do for reasons that vary from woman to woman. 

#3. All men want a woman who can cook.  Where I come from and many parts of the world, it is the norm for women to cook for their families. Growing up, boys were never expected in the kitchen whereas it was a MUST for the girls to be in the kitchen while the meals were being prepared. Women have been made to believe that not being able to cook is a deal breaker for all men.  Truth; While cooking a prerequisite for some men to settle with a woman, very many men out there can't be bothered if you can cook like a professional chef or not cook at all. Some find more pleasure in cooking for their woman than have her sweating in the kitchen while he sips on a beer. PS: This is not an excuse for woman not to learn how to cook. Being a good cook could be a plus for you especially if you happen to fall for one of those men who love to be spoiled with a delicious home cooked meal everyday. 

#4. All Africans want to live in the west. Every time an African gets on a plane to go overseas, it is believed that's a dream come true and they will do whatever it takes never to come back home. It is believed that Africans will jump at any opportunity to 'escape' the African continent to live 'the American dream' or whatever other dreams are out there. Truth; Many Africans living in the west are there not by choice but circumstances. Many don't have the slightest desire to live in the west but are just curious of what lies beyond just like anybody else about places they were not born or raised. Many Africans find more comfort in the slow, 3rd world lifestyle in Africa even after seeing what other more developed continents have to offer.

#5. All men with big manhood give good sex. Popular belief has it that the bigger the penis size, the better the sex. This is probably because they can hit all corners with less effort. Truth; It's useless to reach different corners with ease if you don't know which corners to hit in the first place. Big penis size doesn't automatically equal to good sex if you don't know how to use it. Too bad, it doesn't come with a manual. In many cases huge manhood actually does more harm than good. Good sex is so much more about technique, chemistry and other tiny, little things. Sorry if I just burst your bubble well endowed males out there ;-)

#6. All high maintenance women are gold diggers. Many women are tagged as gold diggers just because they have expensive taste or are into a certain lifestyle. There is nothing wrong with loving a certain standard of living and being lucky enough to find someone willing to sustain it. Truth; A woman is only a gold digger if their SOLE intention of being with someone is the expensive lifestyle or goes out hunting for someone to bring this lifestyle to her. Many women simply love the finer things in life, are ready to work for them and won't settle for less and  so if you can't keep up, she just won't have you.

Even if there is usually  truth to many stereotypes, many other times they are plain ignorant. I prefer to embrace diversity and learn more, rather than stereotyping.

What common stereotypes have you refused to fall for?

LT

Meet Victoria Nabunya, Miss Uganda 2001: then and now.

Let us back track a little...then move forward:)

It all started when i won the title of Miss Uganda, after which i went on to represent Uganda at the Miss World Pageant that was being held in Sun City, South Africa that year.
 At Miss World, i quickly pushed my name up by making it to the top 3 finalists for the Miss World Scholarship. This was a very big deal because 90 contestants were all competing for it! 90! I must say i am very proud of myself for having made it so far among such talented and brilliant young women! It was an awesome experience that any young lady would surely enjoy!


Back in Uganda, i was involved in many projects, charities and social events. It was such a whirl wind of events that looking back i wonder how i ever managed it all! It was so much to do, so many places to be! My most memorable contributions as Miss Uganda that i will forever look fondly back at are:
1) The NGO i started, Victoria Breast Cancer Initiative with the aim of raising funds to purchase a mammogram machine for Mulago hospital (which we did). I teamed up with Uganda Tourism Board and the women at Uganda Golf club to make this happen. I approached several companies, well-wishers and other individuals to raise the funds. The women at Uganda Golf Club held a golf tournament with the aim of raising money for the mammogram. I worked tirelessly even without the help of some of those i expected support from and got things done. I will always be grateful to Mr. John Waigo of UTB who worked tirelessly with me, Dr. S. Zaramba, Dr. Anthony Gakwaya of Mulago Hospital, Mrs. Grace Obua who was Lady Captain at Uganda Golf Club as well as Mr. Charles Kareeba who was Uganda Gold Club Captain and Mrs. Jolly Kalemera and many more that i have not mentioned here. They really played a big role! Now that i am in the health field as well, i plan on getting back to work on more projects in the future and continuing to raise Breast cancer awareness in Uganda.

Climbing Mt. Rwenzori

2) Another special journey was my broadcast hike to the peaks of Mt. Ruwenzori. I was discouraged from making such a strenuous trip but once again, i insisted (i can be a bit stubborn when i really want to do something). MTN donated some gear to help me with my journey, and i was able to have security and porters with me so off i went. My aim was to promote Uganda's tourism and to officially open the new bridges that had just been built. Before i started my hike, i got a chance to meet the then CRN Director, Bent Ronsen and his team who had been working tirelessly in the area and in the Congo as well to bring peace. My hike was a much appreciated gesture because to them it showed that the area was becoming safer, if i could come down and spend a week hiking in the mountains! I will not forget the dancers who welcomed me or the proud look on the men's faces who hiked up with me when they saw how determined i was not to give up! They were not sure if this skinny, Miss Uganda would make it but i did! I have been able to visit most of Uganda’s touristic destinations and i love the beauty in our country! I wish more people would take the time to see more of what Uganda has to offer, before they hop on a plane to go to some fancy resort. My favourite place i think is Mweya because of scenic views and the bird watching experience. I love it there!
And earlier this year (Jan 2014) i finally went gorilla tracking--that has now become one of my other favourite places to visit...i must go back and visit the gorillas in Bwindi!

Gorilla tracking in Bwindi

3) And lastly, i will not forget my trip to Kitgum, at a time when the fear of Kony and his rebels was still significant! I was discouraged from going to Kitgum but i couldn't turn away a chance to show some love and bring some hope to people who had been tormented and tortured in unimaginable ways! So once again, i followed my heart and embarked on a special journey. I had security with me and good people around me, so i decided it was worth it. I brought with me basics to give out and brought lots of smiles to many people. The joy on their faces is still with me...The stories they shared with me have also remained with me. I stopped in Gulu town and visited a hospital there...i was accompanied by then Miss Northern Uganda, Christine Akullo. On our arrival at the hospital, two boys were born. Their parents gave us the honour of naming them so i named one Victor and Christine named the other Chris. Christine and i have actually decided to try and find these two boys so that we can be part of their lives somehow...hopefully we find them! Being able to not only donate things to the people i met but just showing them that someone cares about their stories was very important to me...so i am glad to have made the journey despite the risks.

At the Miss World Pageant 2001

I hope this helps all my readers know a little bit more about who i really am and what i did during my reign. I often hear stories about me that are not accurate so it is nice to put some truth out there given the fact that we have social media right at our finger tips! (I wonder what took me so long lol).
Yes, there was some drama and headline news during my reign because my father (May his soul RIP) was not entirely sold on the idea of pageants...he was a different kind of guy with his own set of rules and your typical african dad if you know what i mean. All in i all i wouldn't change anything. I cannot speak for the Miss Ugandas before or after me, but personally that time of my life taught me so much about myself, my country and its people and i wouldn't change anything. It gave me a chance to give back to my community and to grow in character and as a person...that is an experience that does wonders for a young lady if used well, and it did for me.

I must say that there were many Aha moments, scary moments, tear-packed moments and even stressful moments when i was Miss Uganda...it was not all roses. I remember the first time the tabloids wrote a false story about me; i cried so much to mother and my dear grandmother (May she RIP) but i later developed a thick skin and learnt to roll with the punches and even laugh about those stories. There was also jaw dropping moments like when i met Nelson Madela (May his soul RIP) in Shambala, South Africa and danced with him, and later dined with his daughter at my assigned table. Or when i met the late Gadaffi when i traveled to Libya (on a private jet) together with several ziper models as well as other models/actors from various African countries, for an African Cultural Event. I got a chance to meet this man that i had only read about in books and even got invited to his palace...that is another story for another day, but let me just say that the hot/extremely good-looking, female bodyguards are not a fairy tale...they are real!

First forward to today; I am currently finishing up some studies (i actually love school/studying...always have since i was a kid so i think i will always be studying something haha) in the States and just living one day at a time, enjoying what each new day brings forth...I am so thankful for all that i have been blessed with so far and i really cannot/should not complain.
I am always being asked about my romantic life, marriage, kids etc but I prefer to keep my private life private...not because i am hiding anything but because i am a private person...always have been despite being thrown into the limelight after winning Miss Uganda. It may sound surprisng for some but i am actually more of an introvert and a very reserved individual who doesn't like too much attention and sometimes fancies being a recluse hahahaha...and i treasure the sanctity/privacy of certain aspects of my life...but of course that is not to say that there cannot be a time to share that part of my life when it feels right:) That could be another story for another day too...

Modelling in Pittsburg

Supporting Miss Africa USA  2013 in Washing DC

Starting off 2014 in Uganda

Thanks for reading..hope you enjoyed!
Xx
Victoria Nabunya.