My baby turns ONE

On this day at exactly 3am, my water broke at 38+5 weeks. My husband had insisted we watch a movie before going bed but I only went through 30 minutes and dosed off. I was too tired and had planned to prepare a meal for some friends the following day, which was Easter. Little did I know my Easter bundle was coming that very day.We panicked for a moment there as we prepared to leave for the hospital. My hubby following me around the house with a rug to clean up the water that kept dripping. Yes, he has mild OCD. I had played out this moment in my head so many times but had imagined a more dramatic scenario. Something like my water breaking at the cinema, on the train or at the supermarket. Rushing me to hospital in an ambulance while I scream my lungs out, you know, like we see in the movies.


At the hospital, all seemed under control until they put me on drips to the help with the dilation. Then, the pain from the contractions got into full gear. I could barely remember all the tips I got from my antenatal classes except taking long breaths in and out. My husband looked so helpless, seeing me in all this pain and there is nothing he could do about it. He was the only family I had there with me at that time. On the other hand, my family which lives all over the world was calling my phone and his off the hook for updates.
After some hours I had to go into theater for an emergency C-section. In the theater, I got into panic for some minutes. I couldn't stop crying, thinking of all the horrible things that could happen. Thank God for the wonderful doctors who saw me through this moment.

Before long, I heard my baby cry for the first time. Tears rolled down my eyes. What I felt that time is still so fresh in my mind, the feeling of bringing life into this world. Only a mother can understand what I am talking about.
My son had a really light skin tone for a mixed baby. When they took him to my husband, he asked if they were sure he was ours, haha. He looked like a white baby. Being the only newborn at the hospital that afternoon, there was definitely no mix up, the nurses confirmed. I couldn't stop staring at him, the feeling of being a mother had not registered in my mind yet, it was so surreal.


Pregnancy and birth were an overwhelming experience for me. I had this picture of a fun, 'glowy' pregnancy, looking cute and chic with my bump. It did not go like that at all. I was big, skin broke out, pregnancy was definitely not beautiful in my case like I hear people say. Then there was the morning sickness for the first months, mood swings to add on my already existing ones. It was in that moment I knew more than ever that I married the man of my dreams. He supported me through it all so selflessly sometimes I don't know how he did it. I never lifted a finger to do anything throughout the 9 months.


On the bright side, the first months were not as overwhelming as I expected or as I had been warned. It was just me and my husband and we handled it just fine. Of course there were those days when he wouldn't stop crying and I broke down and cried too. Not forgetting the times I could barely keep my eyes open but had to nurse him or get him to sleep but generally speaking, it has been awesome. Things naturally fall in place, questions somehow get answered and the endless worries come and go too.

Twelve months later, I look at my son, what he was grown into and I fall in love over and over again. You need to see the excitement that filled our home the first day we saw a tooth or the time he sat, crawled, ate solids, walked. We look forward to every little milestone he knocks down.
I can't deny that there are days I want someone to take him away for some hours so I can go about some activities in silence or just have a breather. Days I want to spend time with some adult friends and have a real conversation. But MOST of the days, I just want to sniff him, stare at him while he sleeps, watch him play with his toys, have him cling onto my legs and make all these silly baby sounds that suddenly become so exciting when you're a mother.

He makes our world different. I hope to teach him to grow into a respectful, humble, hardworking, intelligent man. This boy is surely special and I am not being biased :-). Raising my glass of wine to motherhood. Cheers!

LT