Living and surviving in a non-English speaking country

One of the greatest challenges I have had to face has been finding my independence and balance in a country that doesn't speak my first language, English, or any other languages I speak. It feels like being a child all over again or like being handicapped as you always need a translator or someone to do the talking for you. You find your self in a nervous state almost all the time until you are able to have a basic dialogue.

I have got lost several times and could barely ask for directions or even understand those that were given to me. I have made the wrong orders in restaurants as I gambled with the menu. I have missed road signs. Many times you will be misunderstood and might even say something offensive along the way. I remember once with my Italian in-laws, as I struggled to explain (in Italian) something about adding preservatives to food and they all burst out laughing, some with an embarrassed look on their faces. My husband then explained to me that 'preservativo', the word I tried to use to mean preservative actually means condoms. Haha.

My first visit to Paris was greeted with a waiter asking another one to serve us because we spoke English. I did not take it personally even if I did not think it was very polite. Maybe she wanted us to feel more comfortable hence letting someone who could communicate with us better take the tourists' orders. I kind of enjoy the whole 'special' tourist treatment I get when I speak English in the non English speaking countries. Some people get excited about English speakers because then they can practice their own English with you. But, it was after I permanently moved to Italy that reality of living in a non English speaking country hit me and it hit me hard. The whole tourist thing wears off and gets old when you actually live in the country even if you can still pull that tourist card once in a while like I do. However in shops and markets it comes with items being overpriced since they know you cannot haggle in the local language.

First language English speakers like myself often live in a bubble where we assume everyone speaks or should speak English by default. The first step to surviving in non English speaking country is to delete this assumption from your head. I have always loved learning new languages and I'd like to think I'm good at it. But, learning a language just for the love of it and learning a language to actually survive in a place in which you live are different.

Here are a few pointers I have found helpful along my journey.

• Don't expect people to speak English because it's a 'universal' language even if it is usually the first language they may try to use to communicate. You will come off as ignorant to some people.
• Learn the basic pleasantries like 'good morning', 'thank you', 'please' plus other useful phrases like ' where is the bathroom', 'can I have some water', 'I speak only English'. You may want to learn how to ask for directions too, very important.
• Make an effort to speak the language. When they see you TRY to speak, they will reciprocate by trying to understand you as much as possible.
• Use of body language. Get your hands, head and whatever else moving to make yourself understood where the words fail. Always works. 
• Be calm. It's inevitable to feel intimidated but keeping cool helps you communicate better. I have found that when I am nervous, even the little I know already seems to suddenly disappear and I just can't speak a word.

It's not that automatic to learn a new language just because you are living in the country where it's spoken like most people think. Many will live a country for years and not pick up the language spoken there. You have to have the interest and persistence to grasp it.

But I must say, learning a new language while in the country in which it's spoken is the best and quickest way to pick it up. You are forced to speak the language not necessarily out of choice but to be able to go through your normal daily routines so you are in constant practice.
It's a beautiful thing, as it comes with learning a new culture especially when you immerse yourself in the language. In Italy, I have learnt expressions with my hands and face that come along with the language. The downfall is, after a long while of living in a non English speaking country, your English is jeopardized, most times to a point of no return. It helps to have some friends who speak English also for your head relax a bit. Trust me, the brain works more than usual when you're trying to add a new language there, it can work you up.

The good news is that it gets better everyday and the feeling of accomplishment when you can finally express yourself is so good, you feel so liberated you forget how stupid you felt in the start.

LT