Preparing for death ahead of time

Death is a sad and scary thing to discuss but it's reality. I actually have chills writing this post. This year started off with quite a number of deaths in my family and around me. One thing many of them had in common, was the controversy surrounding the deceased's last wishes and division of their estates. How many of you have made your last wishes known to somebody ahead of time, anybody?

Until recently I assumed that it's only the elderly and wealthy that had to worry about planning for death way before it happens. People who had huge empires and estates to worry about or those whose death was obviously very close. I also reckoned that there are decisions that should be easy to make and obvious to those left behind and thus don't really need to be clearly pronounced by the deceased before hand. I continued to assume that even if the deceased does not say or write any last wishes, someone close to them surely knows what they could have wanted and would genuinely put it out there and have it done. I was so wrong.

You will be surprised how clueless the closest people to you are about how and what you would like to be done if you suddenly dropped dead. You don't believe me, try asking them now and see. This is mainly because we are so afraid to speak of the end of our life's journey, we ignore or forget to plan for it.

It's never to early for anyone to draft a will or let your last wishes be known to a trusted person. After all, death makes no appointment, it arrives in its own time, right? Some people may not have much in terms of wealth or have nothing specific they want to be done when they are gone. But, there are still some tiny, little details that would save the people you leave behind unnecessary disagreements plus time and energy pondering about, if you just mentioned something before. You may think it's all pointless since you won't be around anyway. Well, if you don't do it for yourself, it's a favor you do for the loved ones you leave behind who have to deal with all the
arrangements while you rest (hopefully in peace).



Some few things you may want to think about are;

• Your spiritual needs. How and where you want to be prayed for. 
• Funeral plans. Do you want to be buried or cremated? Where do you want to be put to rest?
• Personal details. For example, your children's custody if you have any. It may be obvious with whom they should stay, but you may have different preferences or concerns other people may not be aware of.
• Legal and financial business that needs to be taken care of. Say, house mortgage, unpaid debts.
• Giving powers of attorney to someone to deal with some issues on your behalf in case you can't speak or make decisions at the time of your death. 
• How you want to be dressed at your burial. I remember my late grandmother clearly said she wanted to be dressed in full white dress and jewelry. 

These among many other things that vary from person to person may seem simple and unimportant yet useful. You should also remember to keep updating this information from time to time in case circumstances change.

Good planning avoids conflicts, misunderstandings and maybe broken relations among the loved ones you leave behind, each of whom may feel they know best what you might have wanted. It puts a barrier to malicious people (who are always there) looking to benefit from someone else's death. It saves your loved ones time and hustle of  figuring out things you would rather have left known.
Importantly, proper advance planning on your part let's you literally rest in peace knowing it is all well, as it should be.

Someone once said 'There are no rules to death that you have to be old or sick to die. Therefore prepare for it.'

LT